Absentminded in Mumbai

In 2006, my cousin Dipen & I were visiting Mumbai from our hometown Ahmedabad. We were visiting  my sister Hirva who was studying Hotel Management at the Institute of Hotel Management in the Dadar area of Mumbai. And we also wanted to do some touristy things in the city. Dipen and I took a bus from the Goregaon area where we were staying at my relative’s house to get to the Hotel Management Institute in Dadar. It is important to mention here that I had grown my hair long then and that day it was tied up in a pony tail. Moreover, I was clean-shaven on that day.

                           Hair today, gone tomorrow?

My cousin Dipen and I got on the bus that would take us to Dadar area after consulting my sister for directions. The third row in the front of the bus had two empty seats. So we went and sat there. I was sitting in the window seat. I had recently finished reading Suketu Mehta’s narrative non-fiction account of Mumbai called Maximum City. The phrase ‘Maximum City’ had become a buzz word in the Indian media after the release of the book. And in the long ride I kept dreaming of Mumbai inspired by the book I had read while the ‘real’ Mumbai was passing me by.

I looked at the back of the bus where my cousin was sitting and was filled with such pride: ‘Wow, my cousin is such a gentleman. He gave up his seat for a lady.’

After the first few minutes, when I looked to my right, I discovered that my cousin was replaced by a woman. I looked at the back of the bus where my cousin was sitting and was filled with such pride: ‘Wow, my cousin is such a gentleman. He gave up his seat for a lady.’

                                     Maximum City

A few more minutes passed by and that lady left. The seat next to me was empty again. I thumped on the empty seat, insisting that my cousin (who was now sitting at one of the very last seats towards the end of the bus) join me again but he vigorously nodded his head in denial. Once again I signalled my insistence that he join me by thumping on the empty seat, and once again he vigorously nodded his head in denial; leaving me mystified as to why he wouldn’t come back to the front of the bus and occupy the precious empty seat next to me which I was trying to save for him.

After a few more stops, two young women came in the bus. There was an empty seat in front of me and one empty seat next to me. One girl took the seat in front of me but the other girl did not sit in the empty seat next to me. She kept standing. Her friend insisted that she sit on the empty seat behind her which was next to me. But the other girl took a quick second look in my direction and decided that it was better for her to stand.

I was not just star-struck by the city at large; I was also star-struck by small details like these squiggles in Marathi on top of the windows.

         Hmm…is this a man or a woman?

After a few more stops both these young women left and an older woman came and sat next to me. She seemed quite friendly and we struck-up a conversation. It was the usual chit-chat about Mumbai and my fascination for the city which was partly derived from the book I had read on Mumbai. After there was a break in the conversation, my eyes turned towards these squiggles on top of the window. There were those same squiggles in Marathi on all the windows in the front part of the bus. I was not just star-struck by the city at large; I was also star-struck by small details like these squiggles in Marathi on top of the windows.

I asked the lady next to me, “Can you read Marathi? Do you know what these words mean?” She said, “Yes. These two words are Striyan Sathi which means ‘Women’s Seat’”. I suddenly realized why the young girl earlier had decided not to sit next to me. The combination of a long-haired, pony-tailed, clean shaven mammal in a woman’s seat had probably confused her about my gender. She probably couldn’t decide whether I was a man or a woman. That’s why she exercised caution by not sitting next to me.

3 monkeys: My cousin Dipen, my friend Kartikey and I; the absentminded Mumbai aficionado

I said to the amusement and laughter of the lady next to me, “O my God, now I realise why that girl didn’t sit next to me. I am so sorry!” I collected my bag and stood-up for the rest of the journey. Later my cousin shared the anti-climax of what I thought and what actually happened to him. He said that he had not given up his seat voluntarily to the lady like a gentleman. An authoritative looking Marathi lady had tapped him on the shoulder, showed him the sign above the window and that’s why he had to leave the seat!!! He too didn’t read Marathi but being a more seasoned bus traveller he knew what was being demanded of him and quietly obliged.

After that incident, the words Striyan Sathi became a code word for my cousin and I to erupt into laughter!

(Shaival Thakkar is a music enthusiast and teaches English language and literature at University level)

A Joyride Down the Memory Lane!

Book Recommendation: Wizards of Hazard by Sunil Namboothiri

Book: Wizards of Hazard
Author: Sunil Namboothiri
Publisher: Vigilante Publications, New Delhi
Pages: 250
Price: Rs 180
Available online on Flipkart.com

Once upon a time, in a classroom not too far away, in fact, next to Ahmedabad’s shopping street Chimanlal Girdharlal Road (popularly known by its abbreviation C.G. Road), a Gujarati language teacher was asking her primary class students to show their homework. She was deeply disappointed and appalled by the fact that almost the entire class had not done the homework that day and was very vocal about it as well. In fact, I remember that particular class as one big tirade against us students and how we should all be ashamed of ourselves for our abysmal sense of responsibility. However, every cloud has a silver lining and in that case the silver lining was Sunil.

Our Gujarati language teacher Annapurna Shukla’s anger was like a bowling ball. We all rather second-rate students of hers were like bowling pins which her anger smashed and tossed afar one-by-one except for Sunil.

“Look at Sunil, not only is he the only one in the entire class who has done his homework, but also in spite of being a non-Gujarati he speaks impeccable Gujarati and has also done so well in the last Gujarati exam. You should all be ashamed of yourself. Dhakni maan pani layi ne doobijao (which translates in English as; you have done something so shameful that you should put water in the lid of a bottle and drown yourself in it because you don’t even deserve more water to drown in!!!). Look at how well Sunil writes and speaks Gujarati and learn something from him. Let’s all give him a big round of applause for being responsible and for doing so well in Gujarati.”

One of the biggest hazards of this campus novel is that it is un-put-downable!

We all looked at Sunil; some of us sheepishly, some in awe, some with pride of being his classmates and we gave him a thundering round of applause. Sunil gracefully accepted the compliments and the applause in an affable and self-effacing manner as if his achievement was no big deal.

Sunil’s literary talent was not contained simply by mastering a

The author, Sunil Namboothiri

new language. One of the happy and delightful moments of our school-life were the complimentary copies we used to get of Wee Wonder. It was the children’s supplement in The Times of India full of drawings, poems, stories and fun facts which we were given on a weekly or fortnightly basis. It may have been a publicity strategy for The Times of India. However, back then, after the drudgery of all the school work, we kids lapped up the free copies of Wee Wonder as if it was manna from heaven! Sunil wrote an article for Wee Wonder and once again we were all very proud of his achievement.

Now, dear reader, I am not going to spoil all the fun for you by telling you what Wizards of Hazard (WoH) is all about. However, I will tell you what makes WoH a unique novel:

• a) WoH is probably the only campus novel written about Vallabh Vidyanagar and Sardar Patel University in the Gujarati or English language. It is likely that it is the only campus novel completely dedicated to an educational institute in Gujarat (Chetan Bhagat’s novel Two States has IIM-A as one of its locations but it also features other locales like Chennai and Delhi and his novel Three Mistakes of My Life, although set in Ahmedabad, isn’t a campus novel).

• b) WoH is a breath of fresh air and has charm, wittiness and a complexity of ideas which makes it a treat to read.

• c) One of the biggest hazards of WoH is that it is un-put-downable! My suggestion, dear reader, is that you go to Flipkart.com and buy Wizards of Hazards right now! It is a wonderful joyride down the memory lane and that too at an affordable price.

⇒ Link to the book on Flipkart ⇐ 

WoH is so well-written and entertaining that I will not be surprised if an enterprising Indian director decides to turn it into a movie (Abhishek Jain I hope you are reading this!). It took Sunil 7 years to complete this novel along with his full time job. Over the years, every time we met, Sunil used to tell me about this narrative about his college life that he was working on in his spare time. While reading the fine print one knows that a tremendous amount of effort has gone into the making of this novel.

My suggestion, dear reader, is that you go to Flipkart.com and buy Wizards of Hazards right now!!!

I am sure that if WoH lands up in the hands of our beloved Gujarati teacher Annapurna Shukla and if she reads it then she would once again be very proud of Sunil’s literary achievement. I too, once again, am very proud and in awe of Sunil’s literary achievement; as a friend and as a fan. WoH will appeal to everyone out there who takes pleasure in reading a good story and they will find it to be more than gratifying. I implore Sunil’s schoolmates, college friends, post-graduation compatriots, colleagues and his miscellaneous admirers and stalkers to please read and support the wonderful and entertaining literary effort that WoH is! Because I am sure that this book will take you back to your college days – a time that is magical and beautiful!

(Shaival Thakkar is a music enthusiast and teaches English language and literature at University level)